‘NOBODY ASKED ME!’
Taster…
‘Bit tetchy this morning,
Merlin me old mate!’ Gwydion chortled, ‘got out of the wrong side of the bed,
did we?’
Oops.
‘We,’ snarled his
former tutor, ‘didn’t actually get to bed at all. So we could hardly get out the wrong
side, could we?’
‘Didn’t get to bed? Partying all night, were we? Ought to be ashamed of yourself at your age,
ho ho!’
Honestly, talk about
trampling where angels fear to tread.
What is wrong with him?
Are all men Like that? Not
knowing when to shut up, I mean. Or is
it just Gwydion?
‘No. We,’ (and here he looked nastily at
Gwydion) ‘were not. For your
information, my liege Lord Dragonking,’ Merlin stabbed his fried egg as
if he hated it, and squirted yolk all down his sweatshirt, ‘I was consulting my
Mirror. I found myself somewhat
perturbed, and so I then referred to my Records. What my records said confirmed what the
Mirror told me. Then, in the early hours
of the morning, I checked in my Almanac to confirm my findings. I was right.
Of course I was. I am always
right. However, I admit I occasionally
misconstrue Time, which is how all this arose in the first place. By the time my research was complete, and my
suspicions confirmed to my satisfaction, it was nearly dawn and hardly worth
going to bed. And, I may add, all this
effort entirely on your behalf, you ungrateful cub.’
Gwydion raised an
eyebrow. ‘Oh, really? Well, if you get as grumpy as this doing your
homework, I wish you hadn’t bothered, on my behalf or not.’
At that point I
contemplated crawling under the table and pretending I wasn’t there. Preferably with a tin hat and full body
armour on. I waited for the explosion.
The room went suddenly
very, very quiet. The end of Merlin’s
nose went white, which is always a bad sign.
Then,
‘Well, boy, I did
bother. Fortunately for you. And it’s just as well I did.’
‘Ooooh dear! Trouble?’
Gwydion still wasn’t getting it.
He was still acting the clever-clogs, pulling funny faces at Merlin’s
annoyance. No wonder Merlin used to turn
him into cats and stuff when he was a little kid. You’d think he’d learn, but he hasn’t, not at
all. There’s no hope for the male of the
species, is there?
Merlin smirked. It wasn’t a nice smirk, but then that’s in
the nature of smirks, isn’t it? I never
saw a smirk yet I didn’t want to smack off the face that wore it, and I’m not a
violent person ~ well, not often.
‘I might think so,’
he said. ‘You, in your ~ er ~ wisdom,
Gwydion, probably won’t. But regardless,
I am right.’ He concentrated on his
bacon, eggs, mushrooms, fried bread, grilled tomatoes, laverbread, baked beans,
black pudding and sauté potatoes.
Gwydion waited. And waited.
When Merlin had polished off the last mushroom, and mopped his plate
with the last bit of bread and butter, he rolled his eyes and said, ‘And?’
‘And what?’
‘What are you right about?’
‘What?’ The wizard wiped his lips with his napkin,
pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘Oh,
that.’
‘What that?’
‘Oh, didn’t I tell
you? It’s time.’
‘What for?’ Gwydion had started off the day in a really
good mood, but was starting to hunch his shoulders and Lose It.
‘Marriage, my dear
boy. Yours. This year.’
And exploding that bombshell in the middle of the breakfast table, he
sailed majestically ~ well, wizardically ~ from the room.
What happens next?
Read ‘Nobody Asked Me!’ and find out.