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NEW IN SEPTEMBER 2006

‘NOBODY ASKED ME!’

Taster…

‘Bit tetchy this morning, Merlin me old mate!’ Gwydion chortled, ‘got out of the wrong side of the bed, did we?’

Oops.

‘We,’ snarled his former tutor, ‘didn’t actually get to bed at all. So we could hardly get out the wrong side, could we?’

‘Didn’t get to bed? Partying all night, were we? Ought to be ashamed of yourself at your age, ho ho!’

Honestly, talk about trampling where angels fear to tread. What is wrong with him? Are all men Like that? Not knowing when to shut up, I mean. Or is it just Gwydion?

‘No. We,’ (and here he looked nastily at Gwydion) ‘were not. For your information, my liege Lord Dragonking,’ Merlin stabbed his fried egg as if he hated it, and squirted yolk all down his sweatshirt, ‘I was consulting my Mirror. I found myself somewhat perturbed, and so I then referred to my Records. What my records said confirmed what the Mirror told me. Then, in the early hours of the morning, I checked in my Almanac to confirm my findings. I was right. Of course I was. I am always right. However, I admit I occasionally misconstrue Time, which is how all this arose in the first place. By the time my research was complete, and my suspicions confirmed to my satisfaction, it was nearly dawn and hardly worth going to bed. And, I may add, all this effort entirely on your behalf, you ungrateful cub.’

Gwydion raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh, really? Well, if you get as grumpy as this doing your homework, I wish you hadn’t bothered, on my behalf or not.’

At that point I contemplated crawling under the table and pretending I wasn’t there. Preferably with a tin hat and full body armour on. I waited for the explosion.

The room went suddenly very, very quiet. The end of Merlin’s nose went white, which is always a bad sign.

Then,

‘Well, boy, I did bother. Fortunately for you. And it’s just as well I did.’

‘Ooooh dear! Trouble?’ Gwydion still wasn’t getting it. He was still acting the clever-clogs, pulling funny faces at Merlin’s annoyance. No wonder Merlin used to turn him into cats and stuff when he was a little kid. You’d think he’d learn, but he hasn’t, not at all. There’s no hope for the male of the species, is there?

Merlin smirked. It wasn’t a nice smirk, but then that’s in the nature of smirks, isn’t it? I never saw a smirk yet I didn’t want to smack off the face that wore it, and I’m not a violent person ~ well, not often.

‘I might think so,’ he said. ‘You, in your ~ er ~ wisdom, Gwydion, probably won’t. But regardless, I am right.’ He concentrated on his bacon, eggs, mushrooms, fried bread, grilled tomatoes, laverbread, baked beans, black pudding and sauté potatoes.

Gwydion waited. And waited. When Merlin had polished off the last mushroom, and mopped his plate with the last bit of bread and butter, he rolled his eyes and said, ‘And?’

‘And what?’

‘What are you right about?’

‘What?’ The wizard wiped his lips with his napkin, pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘Oh, that.’

‘What that?’

‘Oh, didn’t I tell you? It’s time.’

‘What for?’ Gwydion had started off the day in a really good mood, but was starting to hunch his shoulders and Lose It.

‘Marriage, my dear boy. Yours. This year.’ And exploding that bombshell in the middle of the breakfast table, he sailed majestically ~ well, wizardically ~ from the room.

What happens next?

Read ‘Nobody Asked Me!’ and find out.

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